you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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