How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
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is wine microwaveable?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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