My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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