your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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