Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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