my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize