Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
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