I cockslap morals
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
