Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
