i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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