just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
