we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
