I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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