wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
