Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize