Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
