you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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