we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
