these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize
