We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize