There is no way he is gay with that hair.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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