dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
