I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
