ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Randomize
