2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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