super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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