He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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