Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
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