I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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