I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Dick very happy bro
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
