hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
