The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
