no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
