Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
