Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
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