I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
