You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
