Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
