I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
