Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
