So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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