He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
