I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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