please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I deserve this hangover.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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