be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
