um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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