God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
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You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
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They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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