What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
