; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
