I'm gonna have a badass scar
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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