Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Randomize
