She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
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