that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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